Still Smiling

Well. Here he is today; a day after surgery;  laughing , smiling, joking and walking around with his drip. Our friend, Mark took us to the hospital on Wednesday. We had to be there at 7.30am. I set my alarm for 5am but inevitably woke at 3.20am having had a panic nightmare about sleeping through the alarm. I laid awake until almost 5am, switched off the alarm and woke John. It felt so strange, getting up early, putting bags in the boot, driving up the M25 and then not turning off for Gatwick.
On arrival at the hospital John was admitted to the pre-op ward and Mark and I waited in the waiting area. John  re-emerged to say goodbye clad in a dashing new black and white striped dressing gown. He looked like a giant humbug on a pair of hairy legs. We laughed and said goodbye. There was really no point in hanging around and I was home by 9am.
I knew he was third (and last) on the theatre list and that it would probably be 11am before he'd begin the operation so I decided to do what girls do in times of crisis and drove to Sevenoaks for a little retail therapy and a badly needed haircut. I'm very pleased with my new shoes!......and the bob.
The hours passed, no news, the phone rang and rang and still no news....just well-wishers. By 5pm I was beginning to feel just a little anxious and decided to ring the hospital. I was told that John was in the recovery room but he wasn't. In fact he was still in surgery until 6.30pm and the surgeon phoned me at 6.45 to tell me that the operation had gone well, as expected.
John remained in the recovery room for a long while, only going up to the ward at midnight. In the early hours he gave them all a scare with an alarming rise in his heart rate but the staff there soon got it under control. I'm bloomin' glad they never rang to tell me!!
John's dad took me to see him today. Considering what his body went through in the last 24 hours he looked remarkable. He was in good spirits and we laughed and joked quite a bit. His hands were a little swollen, his shoulders ached, he has an oxygen tube into his nose, his body hair's been shaved like he's featured in a Tom and Jerry cartoon and by the looks of it they super-glued his eyes together incase he woke up under the anaesthetic.
I love him.
Stella.
And finally via text message from John just now, a message for the blog"Feeling bruised and tired but relieved and looking forward to recovery."

Sunday Ride to Rye

I took advantage of the decent weather on Sunday and went for a ride on the bike down to Rye. Going early ensured I avoided the traffic and the roads were blissfully empty, free of speed cameras and mostly dry which meant I could let the bike stretch it's legs. When I got there I had a bacon sarnie and a cup of coffee sitting outside the cafe, soaking up the early morning sun. I blasted back home in time for lunch and to watch England narrowly beat France, watching England play rugby is always masochistic and this game was no exception. This was a thoroughly selfish day but will be the last for some weeks to come.

Stella and I went to Zizzi's for lunch on Monday we both gave the usual pizza a body swerve (rugby analogy) and went for shared antipasti for starters and fish dishes for main. The meal was very pleasant and the conversation was around another new arrival to the extended day clan. Hannah is pregnant, while we are both thrilled at this prospect it will make us Grand parents for the fourth time!

This just can't be happening to the 'Peter Pan couple' as my friend Mark refers to us. We still see ourselves as Hansel and Gretel hand in hand lost in the woods, not brother and sister obviously.

And so to today, Tuesday, less than 24 hours before we go to Frimley Park. Mark has volunteered to take Stella and me tomorrow. I am relieved, I would have worried about Stella driving home on her own after dropping me off. I am sure that this is a load off her mind as well. I have already received 'good luck' phone calls and text messages from family and friends, its always nice to know you are in people's thoughts. I don't feel nervous about tomorrow but I am 'stoked' (surfing analogy) about the operation and am already thinking beyond it to recovery, no doubt the nerves will come nearer the time.

There is a scene in 'Jaws'  where Robert Shaw relates his experience of waiting to be rescued from the sea to Rod Schieder and Richard Dreyfuss. He says that its not the days, spent in the water, that are the most frightening but the moments before being rescued. I can relate to this feeling, I have been paranoid about picking up a bug this last week for fear of my operation being cancelled, this has got worse the closer the time has come. To avoid colds I have overdosed on vitamin C, oranges and honey and lemon drinks I have also been drinking precautionary cold remedy drinks. I will only be completely happy when I am prepped and ready to be operated on.

I  have attached a 'Youtube' link to a video presentation of the Da Vinci robot in operation, its interesting but not for the faint of heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgVoN8qNsz0

That was the week that was (2)

The 29th of February brought a proposal for me this year, it came from the secretary of the consultant at Frimley Park to go down for a consultation about robotic surgery. I went on Thursday to discuss this possibility and ended up being 'Pre-opped' for surgery on the 14th March!
This is better than I had hoped for, the compromise is that I agree to be used as a training session to be conducted by a Korean surgeon considered to be one of the foremost practitioners of this surgery in the world. The operation will be 'streamed' to surgeons in Portsmouth and shown live; my 15 minutes (7-8 hours actually) of fame.

I must get the bathroom re-decoration finished this week, its taken me longer than the pyramids so far!

Also this week I received notification that I would be put on half pay at the end of the month. Although I was expecting this it still comes as a shock. I feel exasperated, I think  my 'basket' is full enough without the extra distraction of appealing this decision.
However, after contacting work and discussing the situation I know how I will lodge my appeal.
I am keen to get back in the yoke and the foreshortened recovery period that robotic surgery offers will help toward this considerably.

I am still getting out on my bike, usually twice a week now, but despite this my weight has crept up to nearly 14 stone!
All the experts say not to worry that I will lose weight after surgery but I am dubious; they said that after my first bout of surgery and again after the nuclear portion but my weight has steadfastly gone up.
Whilst I appreciate that this is a healthy sign and I am indeed becoming fitter, after I have recovered from this round of surgery I want to address this predicament.

I had a sports massage this week, my first ever, felt much more elastic afterwards, I might try and make this a regular fixture.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Just got back from the consultation with my surgeon, the very good news is that the Chemo/Radio therapy has worked and the cancer has not spread. The tumour has been shrunk to an operable size.

My surgeon will write to his counterpart at Frimley Park (where there is a Da Vinci robot) and arrange a consultation for me. This does not necessarily mean that this will be the route I go down but it does give an opportunity to discuss this option.

I am looking at 3 weeks before I would have conventional surgery and possibly longer before laparoscopic surgery but the shorter recovery time associated with this method will balance out the potential difference in total time involved.

Needless to say both Stella and I are extremely pleased and relieved with this news. Although we both feel strangely anticlimactic about this outcome(?)

Another week!

Just been phoned by the hospital, I'll be sent an appointment for this Friday.. another week. Fuck!

Failure to fire

Went to the hospital on Friday but didn't see my consultant. He was called to surgery with no prospect of returning in time for his clinic. I did see one of the nurses though, I will be called early on Monday (13th) about an appointment outside of clinic times.
I am disappointed but have to be philosophical, any delay in surgery puts back my progress however the nurse said that he wants to discuss surgery options including the Da Vinci robot, this could (potentially) shorten recovery and thus negate delay.

Something strange has happened to the area that has been exposed to Xray radiation, it has gone bald. Usually my body is hairier than a lycanthrope at full moon but now I look like a human patch work quilt!
This should recover according to the experts - I certainly hope so.

"T" minus One (day)

So, tomorrow we'll find out what's going to happen next. We have discussed a list of questions to ask but the list just seems to get longer the more we talk about the possibilities. However, the big ones remain the same, what (are the outcomes from the scans and surgical method), when (will surgery be done), where (will it be done) and how (long will recovery be). I think both Stella and I will be relieved once we know the next direction, 6 weeks is a long time to brood over all the different potential outcomes.

This week we have been fairly busy (I'm filling the vacuum), last weekend Gabriel, Dad and me went to the Bike show at the Excel.

Gabriel got to sit on some of the bikes. However, he was the wrong shape (no beer gut) and 30 years shy of a mid life crisis, the criterion for riding one of these!

Sticking with (motor)~bikes, I got my one MOTed and had new tyres put on it in preparation for my being fit enough to ride it this Spring.

The snow had us out and about this week as well:

This is Stella and me re-enacting a scene from love story, the kids thought this was 'Gross' though why they thought it was big escapes me!

I expressly forbade this but as in most matters domestic I was ignored.

This was sprayed onto the wall of the motorway underpass, street art or graffiti?
This weekend will be another busy one as it will be Gabriel's 15th birthday.