Loft

I find my mind is like a loft where everything I need to know is stuffed into bin liners or cardboard boxes (Tea chests sounds more romantic but less accurate), inevitably information I need to hand is always stuffed in the bag/box in the furthest, most inaccessible corner. In this (imaginary) loft there's a door to a dark room marked "What right have you to expect more?". When I feel low this question plays on my mind and the truth is a life lived is a life lived however long or short it may be, it makes a mockery of long term life plans. To coin a phrase from one of my favourite films "Live in the now!".

I received the letters this week with dates for the beginning of the next stage, MRI and CT scans for the week of 30 Jan 2012 and a meeting with the Consultant surgeon on my suitability for surgery on the 9 Feb 2012. Again, I feel both exhilerated and anxious in equal measures at this development.

This week saw the last of my blood tests, this is a huge relief as I get a sweaty upper lip at the very thought of needles entering my veins and drawing out the contents. This condition wasn't helped this week by the Phlebotomist saying "Oh! I've bled you before". My blood count is satisfactory.

I feel as though I could challenge Rip Van Winkle for sleeping. The most usable part of the day for me is the morning I have a nap in the afternoon and get a full 10 hours sleep at night. Talking to the Radiologist this level of fatigue should abate quickly at the end of treatment.

I managed a trip up to London this week to meet some friends from work for a Christmas lunch and although I was back in Sevenoaks by 6:30 in the evening I had a great time. I ate far too much in the 'all you can eat for £4.95' Chinese restaurant and was shattered that night but felt the effort was worth it.
How does anyone drink J2O all night? At the first mouthful I could feel my teeth rotting.