Progress report

I contracted a cold this weekend, it started on Friday and was in full swing by Sunday. I felt very rough right through and spent a lot of time in bed popping cold remedies like sweets (marshmallows!). The Chemotherapy depletes my immune system and makes me susceptible to infections this was a relatively minor cold but it knocked me for six.
 Additionally, this weekend I had a lot of discomfort in my bowel spending quite a lot of time in the toilet passing matter, mucus and some blood (this was very light staining and could not be described as bleeding), all a little disconcerting.

I felt much better today following my abuse of cold remedies, Stella and I saw my Oncologist, this was the opportunity to find out how the treatment is going, what will follow and clear up some nagging questions.

•  The 5 week 'plan' is the total amount of Radiotherapy and should conclude the Chemotherapy, I had been concerned that this plan may vary.
• There will be a 6 week rest period following completion of this treatment package. In this period I will have CT and MRI scans.
• Surgery will follow very soon after the 6 weeks (last week in January, first week in February).
• A decision will be made on the material removed and there may be some 'mop up' Chemo therapy.
• The passing matter issue (above) is perfectly normal and a result of the treatment.
• I can take pain/IBS relief, it won't affect the Chemotherapy.
• I can resume taking a multivitamin to supplement my diet.

Everytime I meet with experts at the Oncology Centre I feel reassured and positive about the outcome.

2 Weeks down

I like this picture, earlier in the week we went for a walk. At the risk of enraging the 'global warming' lobby I find sunny days in the winter lift my soul, long may they continue. The Ray Bans are tortoise shell framed, not real obviously that would place me up with Adolf Hitler and Vlad the Impaler on the reviled peoples' list. It was a beautiful day and although the walk took it out of me I thoroughly enjoyed it and slept like a log that night.
The end of the second week has brought some side effects (detailed in the previous post) and a noticeable increase in my level of fatigue. However, after a meeting with my stoma nurses I now have an elasticated girdle to support the area around my stoma and intend to use some of my meagre energy level to go out for some short cycle rides. Previous rides had resulted in the area around my stoma 'pulling' uncomfortably so the girdle will give much needed support. I find going out on my bike, however occasionally, psychologically as well as physically uplifting and as such well worth expending energy. This is not bravado but rather maintaining a sense of self.
On Monday as well as me being 'zapped' we have a review meeting with my oncologist Doctor, Stella and I will be preparing questions over the weekend as we are both keen to get an idea of the direction the treatment is taking and timescales for surgery.

The hard ware

This is the machine that fires x-rays into my body. The tattoos on my hips and back are the coordinates for the cross section of my bowel that needs to be hit but fine point adjustments made on a day to day basis ensure the whole tumour gets an even dose of radiation. Ultimately it is this that shrinks the tumour in preparation for surgery. I lay on the bed (out of shot) with my face in the blue pillow in this photo. Adjusting my body takes far longer than the actual irradiating which is less than 10 minutes at a time.

I think this machine looks like a giant spot welder (for those of an engineering bent) which is pretty much what its doing to me.

I had conversation with a friend this week who had bowel cancer last year, his words were " the treatment is rough and you'll feel shit for about a year but you will come out the other side". His words are pretty much echoed by my consultant only in less colouful, more techically detailed language. It is reassuring to here from people, particularly a friend in this case, who have been through this experience it all helps build confidence.

I am begining to feel some minor side effects of both the Chemo and Radio therapy. The Chemo side effects manifest themselves with minor irritation in my stoma and in the surrounding scar tissue, a slightly 'rasping' throat and soreness in my eyes. The Radio therapy side effect is limited to a slight tenderness in the skin on my hips.
These are very minor and easily controlled, aqueous cream for the hips and eye drops for my eyes, so far I have not felt any nausea (a definite plus!). It is early days and I will keep an eye on the stoma and throat situation. I do find that I get more tired now by 4 o'clock in the afternoon I need an hours sleep, I call this 'powering down'. This nap allows me to stay up later in the evening but I am still normally in bed by 9:30.
My weight has increased slightly to 13st 5lbs, I am told this a good thing, even though none of it is increased muscle mass!

One down Four to go

Completed the first week of Radio/Chemo therapy today, so far so good. I haven't suffered any adverse side effects. Early days!
I have been given free (!) nylon slippers to wear in the treatment room at hospital as well as executive parking rights (£1.80/week). The advantages of cancer just keep rolling in.

Stella's passion is divided (equally I hope) between me and Steve Harley of Cockney Rebel  fame (old band from the '70s). During the zapping process the team pipe music into the room, to make the victim feel less intimidated (Ha!). Imagine how I felt as I was being lined up for zapping, naked butt in the air when Mr Harley's (my Nemesis!) 'make me smile (come up and see me)' came over the ether, mocking me in my compromised situation.

Oh the irony!

First day new boy

My first day with radiotherapy today and I had 'new boy' nerves the night before with all the usual unpleasant side effects that anybody who has been through the hell of the first day at a new school suffers.
But as with school everybody only wants to help and my first bout of radiotherapy and, indeed, my first dose of chemotherapy passed without event. I am sure that this will all become more arduous as the treatment moves through it's term but a positive start has put me in a confident frame of mind.
As usual Stella was the assertive partner asking questions and demanding answers from the helpful staff while I parodied a rabbit caught in the headlights.
I met a guy going through similar treatment to mine, it's reassuring to talk to someone else in a comparable situation.
I find I am inhabiting two different worlds at the moment; 'Cancer world' where our lives (Stella and mine) revolve around eating resting, surgery, oncology and maintaining a positive mental attitude; 'Other world' dealing with the every day demands of family life, links with friends and ensuring there is enough diesel in the car to get around.

Entering the rapids

Had a busy hospital week this week, went to both Pembury and Maidstone. The Pembury visit was to check my stoma post op, on past visits to Pembury the meetings have started with me being 'probed' and I was a little concerned and nervous that this meeting was going to continue that tradition. However, this was an all together more pleasant visit with both my consultant surgeon and stoma nurse. The good news is that the stoma has healed well and the next stage can get under way. Incidentally, I still get the urge to go to the toilet 'conventionally' although I don't produce any significant matter (too much information?). Apparently this is perfectly normal.

The meeting at Maidstone was to plan out my Chemo/Radio therapy which starts this coming week (Tuesday). I will be taking a Chemo drug called Capecitabine every day, including weekends, simultaneously with the Radio therapy which is Monday to Friday (other than the first week) for all five weeks of treatment. The list of side effects for the Chemo drug is just this side of the most terrifying horror film you can imagine, but then again if we read the side effects for paracetamol we'd probably put up with the hangover!

Stella has put together an excel spread sheet of all my appointments for this part of the treatment and I can't wait to start 'ticking them off'.

It would be fair to say I am both excited (stoked) and intimidated by the prospect of actually starting the nuclear part of this journey.
It truly is the begining of the end of the tumour and any associated material but I think it is going to be a rough ride for the duration of the treatment.
Still, as one of our daughters said to me "Mountain or Mole hill, depends on your perspective" , out of the mouth of Babes!
A look around the Oncology department reveals plenty of inspiring examples and I am not the first to have gone down this road, so 'into the valley................'

Good days Bad days

I have had to think about how this blog will be read; sometimes when I'm on my own, mostly in the shower, the fear of my cancer threatens to overwhelm me, I  rationalise my position and fall back on this mantra: 'I am in the hands of experts, the plan is sound, the prognosis is good' but occasionally my strength falters. Fortunately, Stella has managed to get released from work for the period of my treatment, this is a huge relief as when I waver her resolution gives me strength.
A friend recently reminded me of Lance Armstrong's autobiography and the inspirational way he dealt with his cancer(s). I have read his (original) account and it seems to me that he is a very determined, mentally strong and goal driven individual. Like him I have a goal; June 2012 to be on my board in the surf at Croyde, I accept that it is smaller than winning the Tour de France but I am equally determined to achieve it.

We had a great weekend seeing all our children and grandchildren over both days, fireworks on Saturday and a sumptuous lunch on Sunday I have returned to the wine drinking fraternity!
Yesterday I managed another outing on my mountain bike and went further than before. I 'pushed the envelope' a little too much and am paying the price today but it was worth it.
I continue to receive positive and encouraging comments and they are a tremendous fillip to me. I do read all the comments although I don't respond, this is down to to my inability to use the technology. I intend to correct this over the coming months.

Cycling and stoma visit

I managed to get out for a ride on my mountain bike yesterday, under strict orders not go 'off road'. I only did 6-7 miles on quiet country lanes but it was a 'shake down' test to see if I could ride comfortably in my cycling gear. I could and it was great to get out the weather was just right, not too hot or cold. Now I can start to build on the distance and identify natural resting points along the way.

I had an appointment with the stoma nurse at Pembury today, I was a bit nervous because I knew she would want to pull out the remaining stitches around the stoma. Stella said not to worry as it doesn't hurt; she lied!
She was comparing her experience of having caesarean stitches removed, what she didn't take into account is my much lower pain threshold.
Still the nurse was very gentle and gave me lots of 'freebies' to silence my pathetic whinging.

Weight gain

I went to the doctor's yesterday (31 Oct) and have gained some weight. I now weigh 13 Stone 3 pounds, while I was there I also asked about doing exercise. I have been trying to get out for a walk most days just to maintain a minimal level of fitness but now I am also going to try to get out on my push bike for some short rides, weather permitting.
there is a real balance to be made between exercise and rest and, at the moment, I am exploring these boundaries.